It's a good job I don't have to do pictures for my exam...

It really is a good job. I have an over active imagination at the best of times and boredom only increases it. Revision is boring. Fact. Therefore my imagination gets more and more wild as I revise.

If I had to draw pictures for my exam I would fail. I don't imagine the real things in my mind, I imagine crazy things. Take the Ottoman Empire. In my head it's inhabited by these people:

And in the Dalmatian empire you would find these:

And then there is a Historian named Sushil. You see the mind immediately sees that if you remove the 'L' his name is Sushi and therefore he looks like this:

And I've been revising the Jews so of course I've been imaging them all as Ninjews! Maybe revision isn't as boring as I first thought.

Antz

Ok ok I left a glass in my room over night, so sue me.

In my defence it was 2am and I'd had enough trouble stumbling to the kitchen to get the drink and wasn't about to go back. I didn't really see how it could cause anyone any offence. I was very wrong. Somehow the ants seemed to see it as sufficient provocation to launch a full scale attack on our house.

I awoke to find thousands of their soldiers swarming over the glass and parading under my door and up the bookcase. But if the ants thought I would give in and let our house be taken easily they were wrong. I grabbed the glass and ran out of my room, down the hall, through the living room and in to the kitchen, squealing all the way. Well wouldn't you when faced with million of these:

I dunked the glass in the sink and turned on the tap full blast. I then returned to deal with the stragglers with a hot damp cloth as that was the best thing I could think of at the time as I was pretty sure neither Cillit Bang nor Weed Killer would really do the trick. Upon returning I found that dealing with the stragglers might need a bit more than a cloth. This was a full blown invasion. The ant army had set up camp all along the hall and advance parties were already being sent out all over the house.

It was scary. There were so many of them. We didn't stand a chance. They laughed at my wet cloth. 'Ha ha,' they sneered, 'You can't win. We will be victorious.'

There was nothing for it. Reinforcements would have to be brought in. The ants must have partied as we left the house. I imagined them drinking and jeering about 'weak humans who don't fight back.' But once again they were wrong.

I returned several hours later ant traps and spray in hand. 'Is that it?' they laughed as ant traps were strategically placed.

'Right no more Miss Nice Guy!' I cried as I pulled a can of ant killing spray from behind my back. My finger poised over the trigger. 'This is your last chance. Leave or die.'

They ignored me.

With a cry of 'Take that you little fuckers!' My finger hit the trigger and a fine mist of toxic gas rained down on the battlefield.

This story concludes with this message to all ants: STAY OUT OR DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH

Also I have to admit the dinosaur story might not be ready for a while. But maybe if you're lucky I'll let you have a sneak preview.

And now an amusing aside: It's no wonder we didn't fancy finishing our drinks in Starbucks.

Ok so this isn't a Dinosaur Story...

But it is a blog post only a couple of days after the last one. The dinosaurs are a work in progress; the illustration is a little time consuming and I need to revise. In other words I can't do anything that takes up a lot of time instead I can do lots of little things that probably add up to the same amount of time it took to do the long thing. I mean things like painting my nails all sorts of bright colours and clearing out my wardrobe. Which brings me nicely to the topic of my blog. Cleaning out my wardrobe. This will probably end up being totally dumb and not interesting at all so consider this bed time reading for insomniacs or something.

Ok so my wardrobe's been looking a bit full lately. Mostly because I have habit of hoarding things just in case and because I get bored with clothes very quickly (this is why Primark is my shop of choice). A sort out seemed the way to go. I had visions of filling several black sacks of clothes but in reality only managed one. Partly because my wardrobe isn't actually that full it's just a mess, full of crap and as I found out, on the point of imminent collapse. It's one of those ones made out of cloth held up by metal poles so it was pretty easily fixed.

Anyway the clearing session provided half an hour of amusement for me and my best friend (who was provided with a running commentary via msn). I found I was keeping 2 pairs of jeans in which I have worn away the crotch completely in - what the hell kind of just in case situation would require them?

Lurking under a couple of skanky tops (chucked) I found a pair of leggings I forgot I had which then required me to try them on with everything I own. Continuing with the trying on phase I discovered some shorts which had been jeans and decided I was probably never going to wear them but should keep them just in case. Next came some long short thingys which I totally reject are the size they say they are because I can't get them over my ass! I had a slight grump with them in which I accused them of calling me fat and saying my bum looked big in them. So you can imagine they were chucked pretty fast.

The Fat Face jeans get to stay. They don't fit but the point is they might fit again some day and they are Fat Face jeans and are there for EXPENSIVE. And I may need them just in case. What if I wake up morning and I discover I have lost half my body weight and I have no jeans to fit? See I'm covering all eventualities.

Sparkly Hotpants = Fashion Disaster of the century. But they do look rather ace. But when the hell am I going to wear them again? Its not like I dress up as a clanger on a weekly basis. (I did once hence the hotpants although they were originally from another fancy dress. What's that? This is a picture blog? Ok then)

See I even had a moon. And I seem to like that pose with one leg up on something. Also I look vaguely demonic in the second one. Anyway the hotpants have gone.

Then I found a trilby. It was not sparkly like the one in the picture above so it hasn't been saved. Well I say that but I am thinking about it. I mean I wore it for most of the afternoon. It kind of made me look like a cross between a gangster and an Amish person (Google images informs me I mean Orthodox Jew. I am also wondering why an image search for 'orthodox jew' brings up a picture of Captain Kirk. Oh wow and a Ninjew. That's like a ninja but an orthodox jew ninja. Awesome.) Anyway what I'm trying to say is that the hat is funky in a it's so stupid kind of way but I can't actually think of a just in case so I can't keep it.

Then I tried on everything in my wardrobe because it wasted some more time. And this may possibly have been the worst/ most boring blog ever.You know when you have a brilliant idea in your head and when you write it doesn't really sound so good? Well that's what happened here. However my few (none) readers means I can't exactly lose many by writing utter nonsense.

I promise you the blogs will get better (well lets face it they can't get worse) and there will be a dinosaur story soon.

EDIT: Here's a better Ninjew Link. I want to meet a Ninjew. I'm now quite a fan.

More Craft.... Boy I need to update more!

Ok so this might be another epic craft post but the again it might not be. I can't remember if I've actually made anything.

Ok first of all I finally (in April finished the boyfriend's Xmas present.... ooops only a bit late). Here it is:

He's a dragon cat made from some rather funky suit material and bits of felt. I think I'm most proud of his wings as they look quite awesome but you can't see them in this picture. Oh and his name is Sir Paws III of Kent.

Hmm I said 'epic craft post' didn't I? I haven't actually made anything else (unless you'd like a photo of my dissertation and stack of essays?!) So just to make up for it here is a photo of three of my plushie creations:

All three were inspired by this rather awesome book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Plush-o-Rama-Curious-Creatures-Immature-Adults/dp/1579908780/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274266872&sr=1-2

I graduate in 2 months time (in fact exactly 2 months) which should hopefully mean more time for sewing and blogging and stuff. I already have some future crafty projects lines up (see this is an epic craft post). I need to finish the bag I began ages ago (see the last epic craft post) and make my best friends birthday present (her birthday was in January...) and I've also said I'll make a wallet for the lovely Talia and I think my sister wanted me to make her something to give to her boyfriend. I also hope to open an online shop if I can make enough things which are good enough to sell. I've got a bunch of little keyrings and bag charms (well plush bag charms) which I want to sell.

Anyway I am actually supposed to be revising for my history exam so I should go. But I intend to be back in the next few days with The Best (and fully illustrated) Dinosaur Story Ever Told.

Living on a street corner

My house is on the corner of the street and my room downstairs and at the front of the house. The snatches of conversation I hear as people walk past, loiter on the corner, or wait to cross the raod always amuse me. I wonder how they'd feel if they knew someone could inadvertantly hear nearly every word.

Sometimes in the middle of the night it is annoying but the druken arguments can also be quite funny. Last night: 'No Jack, don't do that, Noooooo Jack'. I couldn't hear what Jack replied to his friend but hearing just one side of the argument kept me amused for quite a while.

And then there's the people stating the obvious and you wonder what sort of conversation they must be having for that to be invloved.

And after that pointless waffle here are some muffins:

I had some left over coconut milk from a curry in the week so I knocked up 6 coconut and chocolate muffins. They were going to be coconut and cherry but Tesco had no cherry! I'm very pleased with them although I think they could do with some desicated coconut added to them to make the flavour stronger!

Epic Craft Post

Ok so I didn't keep my New Years Resolution, but who does? Anyway I have been a busy little bee with uni work and lots of crafty things. So here is an epic craft update with lots of pictures as this does claim to be a picture blog after all!

First off, I don't think I posted this at Xmas, here is the Xmas cake I made (well helped make!) but I decorateed it all by myself! For my first solo attempt at Xmas cake decorating I think it went pretty well. Especially my discovery of edible glitter!

I've also started in two bags. One for me and one for my best friends birthday (which was in January so yet another 'I owe you') I only have a picture of the one I'm making for me as the other one is in fact a pile of fabric still as I've only cut pattern pieces out. These should both be finished during the Easter break when I can use my better sewing machine that lives at home with my parents. I only have a mini one here which is good for making plushies but not s good for bags. But thanks to my Mums xmas present I have inherited her old sewing machine which I can use when I go home or if I'm really good I can use hers which has lots of fancy stitches! Here is my bag:

It's made up of 4 different fat quarters and a fifth will make the base and strap. I like how the chinesey and japanesey fabrics fit in with the shape that reminds me of a Far eastern boat!

Keeping with a Japanesey theme I made this card for my best friend who had an interview for at the Japanes embassy for a job teaching english in Japan for a year.

As I said it was best friends birthday in January so I made her cupcakes. This also meant I could use some of the very pretty cupcake cases I had given to me! Here they are:

Sticking to a cupcake and birthday theme it was my sisters birthday last week and I made this cupcake card for her!

I have also added a new craft to my collection - knitting. Thanks to the loom my lovely friend Talia gave me for Xmas. I've made two hats on it and have a third one in production. Here are my first two attempts:


And last but not least here is the cross stitch I have recently finished. I have no idea what to do with it now! If I frame it I'll have nowhere to hang it so I want t do something different with it.I had thought about putting it on a folder which I could use to keep patterns in but any suggestions are more than welcome!

I think thats all of my recent projects now! Apart from a little black cat plushie which I made for a fancy dress costume (I was a witch!) which I forgot to take a photo of before sending it off to Kent to its new, rather wonderful owner! It wasn't very well made so I think the lack of picture may be a good thing. I also have just started on my last xmas present - a plushie (but I can't tell you what yet!) which I need to have done by the 12th March when its wonderful owner comes to pick it up!

I shall try not leave it so long that I have to do such an epic blog post again!

New Year, New Blog

Yes, I have decided that as one of my New Years resolutions shall be to make this a proper blog where I actually update it and update it about interesting things not mindless nonsense! There may even be pictures!

Since I seem to have found a new fascination with quotes I feel that is the way to go with the blog for now. Using quotes to give me inspiration. So here we go first post of the new blog!

'The most exciting phrase to hear in Science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not 'Eureka' but 'That's funny...' '
Issac Asimov

I seem to find that most discoveries come quite by accident; take craft for example. I set out to do one thing and it all goes dramatically wrong but somewhere along the way I discover something else that works well. Another example is searching books in the library - I search the library catologue, note down the call number and then wander towards the appropriate shelf and never leave with the book I went looking for - always one I've discovered quite by accident on one of the surrounding shelves.

Does that mean we should just leave everything up to fate? Probably not, if we didn't try out and do things; set out to make a certain discovery or to reach a certain point we would never discover the little things along the way. It's the little things that make the end goal even more special.

So if things aren't going right, don't fret as something good could be just around the next corner. Something I could do with taking into account a lot more often. Surprise can be the best thing in life.