Maryland Cookies... The kind of disappointment that breaks your heart.

These are Maryland Cookies:

Look at them in their shiny packets, looking all delicious and yummy. It screams satisfaction and pure unadulterated cookie joy at you. You must have them and you must have them now. Beneath the shiny wrapper is a treasure worth more than all the gold in the world, a taste sensation that will make your day. You can hardly contain your excitement as you delicately rip the shiny foil encasing the small bites of heaven inside. You gently lift one cookie out and take the first bite waiting for the joy and extreme yummyness to hit you. But it never comes.

First you realise these are no cookies, they are merely biscuits. They are not deliciously chewy instead they crumble like your run of the mill biscuit  Then you notice they are too small; any joy would be fleeting and heartbreaking like waiting months to see a programme only for them to cancel it after the first episode. And they're tasteless as well all except for an after taste of salt. These are not what you anticipated, there is no cookie satisfaction or a taste sensation so strong you want to scream in pleasure. 

Instead your heart breaks and a wave of intense disappointment washes over you building up into a deep depression. You feel violated and cheated on. How could they worm their way into your heart like that and then break it without a second thought? How can they sit their on the side so casually as your life lies in pieces around you? You desperately seek for some comfort, anything, and so you gorge yourself on the whole pack which causes you to feel fat and once again you have been violated by these small bites of hell. You vow never to turn to these servants of the devil again. But you will. They just keep drawing you in with their alluring  

packaging.

There are many things in life that constitute as a Maryland Disappointment. Cross Country Trains for instance. You think they're going to be so exciting, a welcome change to the frustrating First Great Western but no their shiny exterior has roped you in and then wiped the floor with you. Underneath all their fancy doors and computer displays they are really just as rubbish as any other train. 

Now it's this kind of Maryland disappointment which led me to being called a Geek failure! (Jokingly of course). I haven't seen 'Iron Man' yet. I always meant to go and see but never got round to it and this is partly due to the fact I will feel a huge Maryland disappointment when I do. You see in my head I associate the Iron Man with my favourite Ted Hughes Poem/ Short Story 'The Iron Man'. As a child I loved it and obviously I know 'The Iron Man' and 'Iron Man' are completely different but I can't get my mind to realise this.       

Wuthering Heights

So I was just browsing the teenage fiction section of the Book shop, as you do, when I spotted 'Wuthering Heights'. Yay, I thought, finally getting teenagers reading something a little more cultured than the normal drivel contained within the pages of Twilight and other such books. It had been re-covered - fair enough teenagers aren't going to read something that looks like it's just dropped out of the 19th century (unfortunatly).

It all went down hill from there. I spotted a little red sticker proclaiming it to be 'Bella and Edward's favourite love story'. Ugh. First off, why would you want to love the romance in the book? And second poor old Emily Bronte must be turning in her grave to have her masterpiece reduced to the favourite book of two fictional charctaers (and not very good ones at that).

Then on the back the blurb stated, in large letters, that it was 'The Greatest Love Story Ever Told'. Yeah right. That suggests its a story of romance whihc is something that there isn't really much of in Wuthering Heights. I would have described it more as a story of passion - love and hate and how similar the two emotions are.

Describing it as a love story almost makes it sound like they are justifying the evil mind games, violence and death that fills the books as being what love is. But mind you it is liked by the Bella and Edward who come from a book that seem to think that a relationship that would appear to be borderline abusive is good. What sort of ideas is this giving teenagers about life?

On another less ranty note I finished my plushie :D and have a bag of watercress as the packet said it was a superfood and I imagined it would be wearing capes and it's underwear outside of it's tights but I am sadly disappointed!