I'm not unemployed...

Nope I'm not. I'm a struggling author :p

This struggling author thing would work a bit better should I have a rich father or maybe if I didn't need to pay bills or anything and didn't need to get a job. But struggling author sounds better than unemployed. I decided a few nights ago to seriously get down to some writing and actually get some stuff finished. I have lots of short stories but have rarely finished anything longer which I have been happy with. I've had an idea whizzing about my brain for ages and so I decided to go with that.

The only downfall is an aching arm. Unfortunately when I decided to become a struggling author it was the middle of the night and pen and paper were closer to hand that the laptop. I've filled a whole notebook so far and have made the possibly crazy decision to continue on paper. It gives me more freedom to lug it around places and gives the long suffering Daisy (the laptop) some rest. After all she has done a degree; three years of being on all day every day and now being needed for several hours a day to apply for jobs. The poor things has been run ragged. 

I've also been meaning to do some new years resolutions so in honour of Chinese New Year here they are. (And doing them now also means I can give progress reports).

1. Get a job (see above)

2. Diet. After a slight hiccup called Xmas I am now well back on track. I even still managed to shed some pounds despite indulging in a bag of minstrels whilst wallowing in self pity last week. 

3. At Christmas I cleared out our recipe book cupboard which was bulging at the seams. I weeded out books we don't use or only use one or two recipes from (the recipes we use have been typed up and are nice and neat in a folder) and even found a few duplicates. The cupboard is now full rather than overfall and I made the decision that as we have so many recipe books I have to choose a book to try a new recipe from each week. This seems to be going well and everyone seems pleased at the discovery of some new recipes. 

4. Start writing again. (See above).

Snowed Under

This blog was not running for a while because of the snow. Ok, Ok so we didn't really have that much snow. Not even enough to justify a snow day unless you are First Bus that is. The lack of snow seemed to be sufficient reasoning for me to be left stood at the side of a busy road in the middle of the countryside where there is no pavement for over an hour and a half.

We did have snow though so I took the opportunity to take a few snaps.

It was very pretty but actually only lasted a couple of days and even when it was at its worst the roads were clear 

Regrettably I am still unemployed and attempting to decide what to do with my life after the rise in uni fees have put a stop to any plans to further my education and get the job I actually want. However this has meant that I have been incredibly productive in the crafting business. This year I have made 80% of my Xmas pressies and now only have a couple more to finish. Pictures will be put up after Xmas so as not to spoil the surprise for the receivers of my crafty creations. 

But I do have some craftyness to show off. First off my best friend, Maddy, got me this for my birthday and it came free with all the bits and bobs to make a bag: 

So way back here I was making a bag that looked a bit like a Chinese boat (or at least I thought it did). Well a couple of months ago I finally finished it and it still holds the award for being the most labour intensive thing I have ever made. I used four and a half reels of thread as there were so many bits of stitching! 

Drowned Rat

So you have an interview. You pull on your smartest outfit, attempt to brush your hair into some semblance of neatness, give up and opt for sticking it all up and out of the way and generally try and make yourself nice. Since you've put all that effort in for the interview you kind of hope you remain in that state until the end of the interview.

Well not if you're me. It all started off well - all the usual preparations ran smoothly and I dashed out the door at 7.45 and hurried along to get to the stop in time for the 8.15 bus. I huddled in my waterproof coat at the bus stop, the rain pounding down on the brolly but only had to wait 15 minutes for the bus. Because of course in bus timetable speak 8.15 means 8.30 unless you're running late then it means 8.10.

I thought the late bus would be the only problem I had to face but I was wrong. The bus was crowded and I perched on the edge of a seat as the old lady next to me was for some reason sat in the middle of the two seats with her bag next to her. So after a tour of the county turning what is a fifteen minute driver by car into an hour and fifteen minute trip.

The crowded bus on its convoluted route combined with interview nerves were gradually making me more and more annoyed so it didn't help that the bus was one of those buses that they've for some strange reason painted completely as an advert; this one was for the RAF and a plane had been painted across the windows making it impossible to see out. Helpful considering I wasn't familiar with the bus route or the area I was going so I had to try and guess when it was time for me to get off.

Eventually the bus arrived at my destination and I managed to find the right stop. My celebrations were short lived. The bus doors swung open to reveal a grassy verge. No pavement just a muddy swamp. Realising I had no choice I reluctantly stepped off the bus and was met by a large squelch. As I trudged through the marsh as quickly as possible towards some civilised tarmac I mourned my lovely shoes. For they were no longer black, they were brown with mud and soaking wet to boot. They will probably never be the same.

Thinking that there could be no more horrors other than another drenching as there was now only a twenty minute walk up a straight road separating me from the interview. Eighteen minutes later I was pretty confident of making it there in not too bad a state. Yes I was wet but the raincoat had mostly protected the coat and smart outfit underneath, the umbrella had stopped my hair from getting too wet and the rain had washed off a vast majority of the mud. What could possibly go wrong in two minutes?

It was then that I heard a car zooming up the road at about 60 miles an hour and before I could react it was shooting past me it's tyres causing the contents of a large puddle to fly up from the road and splash down over me like a waterfall. If my mouth hadn't of been full of dirty puddle water a yell of 'asshole' or similar would have been sent in the direction of the retreating BMW.

So I arrived at the interview sopping wet, for my raincoat and umbrella had been no match for the BMW induced tidal wave so I sort of just dripped over the floor as if I was melting, wanting to do nothing more than just burst into tears. I probably could of done; I was wet so wet no one would have noticed.

Me, in pictures

At the beginning of this month it was my 21st birthday and on Saturday my sister gave me my birthday present; a rather awesome canvas printed with pictures from my life. It really made me smile and got me thinking about pictures of me as a child so I turned to our stacks of photo albums.

Ok I'm not one of those people who gets embarrassed about their baby photos mostly because I was damn cute! (Shame that didn't last...). And so I've decided to give you the opportunity to laugh at me by showing you some of these pictures. So here is a guided tour of my life in pictures with your tour guide, me:

 Wasn't I adorable? Come on give me an aww...

However not everyone thought I was adorable:

Please note the terrified expression on my sisters face. (I'm the baby, my sister is the three year old). 

Speaking of my family. There is some things you should know. In our family it is perfectly normal to have a giraffe come to dinner:

Or to find yourself reading a story to a pink elephant: 

There is a good chance I could be under that pink elephant in that picture. It was very unlike me to miss out on story time. 

However this is not perfectly normal:

And I don't mean my sister getting starring role as Mary in the nativity scene! I mean the police officer that can be seen just in front of Mary and Joseph. Since when was there a police officer present at the birth of Jesus? And what is he doing? Looks like he could be arresting baby Jesus. For crimes of being plastic perhaps? 

Now to continue with the tour. Firstly I've always been stylish: 

Just look at that hat. Even as a baby I dressed impeccably!

And are those not the most amazing dungarees that you've ever seen?

Sporting the Yorkshire terrier hair do!

 However at certain age I lost my style and all pictures were better taken at this distance: 

It's ok, don't worry, I got my style back: 

Such up to date fashion!

Not only am I stylish, but I'm an awesome dancer:

TRAGEDY!! 

I also did more classical styles:

(I'm on the right in the ballet kit)

Now I love to boogie: 

Just look at those moves... 

(I'm the one in the dark purple dress that looks like it has a leafy pattern on it)

I also had other hobbies. I've been in guiding all my life:

Wonder if anyone told Rainbow me that my trefoil is all squiffy...

You can even hire Brownies out for weddings (well Guiders need to make their money somehow!) I'm the one on the far left of the picture. 

I've always been rather adventurous and brave:

 

I'm the kid who's head has been lopped off by the plant pot. And if you look closely you will note that I am managing to walk around the very high, and narrow, almost Bridge of Khazad Dum like wall without holding my mums hand whereas the boy just behind my sister is having to hold his fathers hand. And I was a whole month younger! 

From Khazad Dum my adventurous exploits progressed to jungle rope bridges:

 

I even rode wild animals:

There seems to be a bit of a giraffe theme.

I also trained for the Winter Olympics:

I also did a fair bit of extreme boating:

No I do not have my eyes closed in fear, the sun was shining in them. Clearly. 

Look at my feet - I'm even peddling despite my legs being miles from the peddles! 

Anyone for a bit of gorge walking: 

Aren't wetsuits flattering! (I'm on the right!) 

There was only one thing I was scared of:

Well not SuperTed but people dressed up in animal/ bear suits like that. It's just not natural. You see I'm not in that picture because I'd run 20 miles. Ok I am in that picture. I'm the kid on the right in turquoise who looks like the only reason they haven't fled for their life is the fact that their older sister is holding their hand in a vice like grip. 

I also had a few career options. I could have been a baker:

Unfortunately it's not a brilliant picture but they were biscuits decorated to represent the four seasons using mainly dessicated coconut, food colouring and playmobil figures. And look I won first prize!! And there were clearly other entries because I can see a plate in front of it! 

Or perhaps I could have been a nurse:

Every nurse needs a pair of fluffy blue slippers! Admit it, you'd want to be treated by that cute little thing, wouldn't you?! 

But my main ambition was to be a pirate:

I still think I'd be an awesome pirate:

So for a bit of a summery: I was an absolute doll when I was small!

And just a little bit crazy: I liked boxes.

But at least I wasn't as crazy as my sister. 

Ok everyone lets just point and laugh. 

Now it's time for me, your ultra cute tour guide, to bid you farewell. Until next time! 

WTF?

So I haven't blogged in a whole week and now I am blogging and still no epic dinosaur story. Unfortunately moving out of my house and applying for jobs has meant that I have had no time to blog or finish the dinosaur story. However you will be glad to hear it is nearly finished.

Anyway today's blog is a WTF post. And that has a double meaning. Clever, huh? I'm going to write about a couple of things I've seen that deserve a WTF award (and make me question the sanity of the human race) and also the WTF stands for the fact anyone reading this will be asking themselves this by the time I finish. I apologise if I make you're brain hurt!

Firstly this: (I am referring to the toys not the rather busty lady in front)

Despite the obvious horn what exactly have do Unicorns and Narwhals have in common? And since when have they been locked in some kind of legendary epic battle with each other for the last millennia? And they have magic battle horns. Why? They say that computer games and TV are encouraging violence, well what about this?

And they didn't really think this through, did they? Unicorns live on land and Narwhals in the sea. How do they have epic battles? And plus Narhwals live permanantly in the Artic where I don't think there has ever been a unicorn sighting. Then there is the obvious fact that UNICORNS DON'T EXIST or at least it's unlikely that they do exist anywhere other than my head.

My second WTF award of the day goes to a product from the Kings of WTF JML.

Now I get that it's to make bumps or something in your hair. But it might just be me but it seemed like a bad choice of name. When I first saw it I thought it was two different words and one of them wasn't 'bump'. Yes, I read 'bum pits' which sort of turns them into more of a painful torture implement. Owwww.

Ok it really was me, wasn't it?

Oh well moving swiftly on.

Something to distract you and make you forget I ever said anything.

CAKE!!

I got a cupcake stand for my birthday so I just had to make cupcakes. Mocha flavoured ones with coffee buttercream frosting to be precise.

Muffilat

I have decided, should all other career plans fail or maybe just as a side career, that I shall make muffins. I love making muffins. Muffins can be made in any flavour you can possibly think of. I'd set up a little muffin shop - like the little shop in Chocolat apart from mine would be with muffins. It would be like muffilat! I would even be able to tell what kind of muffin you are just by you spinning a plate or telling me what you see in Rorschach test! My mum, for example, is a maple and pecan muffin or an espresso muffin and my sister is a carrot cake muffin. According to my Mum I'm a Rocky Road Muffin!!

Tomorrow I shall make Fudge Muffins :D The world is a better place with muffins!